The Wreckage of the Narcissist

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  The Wreckage of the Narcissist Photo by  Marek Piwnicki  on  Unsplash Narcissism is insidious. Here you are cruising through life on a highway and things are going pretty good. There is the odd curve every now and then but it’s no problem for you to navigate through them. You feel quite confident you have this life driving thing figured out. Then one day you meet someone who creates this whirlwind of a situation when you first get together. It’s exciting, it makes you feel alive and excited. Your car is now speeding on that highway, but boy does it feel good to throw caution to the wind and push down that gas pedal. After a while, they start growing complacent with their ‘be on best behavior so the little potholes in the road that were there when they were testing you in the beginning have now turned almost crater like from their random temper outbursts. Still, the potholes aren’t all that common and you can typically steer around them, so you aren’t bothered by those red flags too m

The Secret to Making It Work with a Covert Narcissist

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The Secret to Making It Work with a Covert Narcissist

Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash

If you are someone that is in love with your covert narcissist then there is one secret tactic that you’ll absolutely need to have in place if you are going to last any length of time with your self-esteem and self-worth intact.

You love your narcissist. You love it when we make you feel special and you feel like you are elevated when you are with us. Like the two of us form an elite team that is better than everyone and you’re proud to be part of something so awesome that it makes you feel great.

We have an energy and a presence when we enter into any room and it seems like people want to hear what we have to say - they seem value you a little more for some reason and it seems like they look up to us in some way because of our relationship.. It’s all very strange but somewhat intoxicating as well.

Its the illusion that you buy into.

The only problem is that Ineed to pick apart the things that you are doing as you tend to dri ve me crazy in any instant. I have no interest in being fair and trying to look at things from your angle. It doesn’t matter that you worked all day while I played golf all day and now that I are home I want to start on the basement project I have been talking about - your energy and time are not respected and are quickly consumed by this person’s needs.

Still, you do all of that and you are getting sniped at constantly. You are getting picked at and thumped on for everything you’ve ever done wrong. You are tired and you are wore out from never getting anything right and having to do everything twice to get it perfect.

How do you survive such a situation long term?

The trick for you my friend is the common enemy. You need to make sure that you have a common enemy that is at play at all times. Your narcissist doesn’t pick on you because they hate you, they pick on you because its either they pick on themselves or they pick on you. They will never look honestly at their own actions in that regards so the default setting is pick on you.

You need to make sure you have yourself a viable target for them to unload all of their negativity onto, you need to make sure that they have that place to offload all of that garbage and you never know, you may find it bonding and addictive to helping your narcissist bash this common enemy.

After all, it's better them than you right? If you want to live in peace with your narcissist then you make sure you have a common enemy at play at all times. Then, you postpone the devaluation and you save your self-esteem. You can significantly prolong the length of your relationship by making sure you have a common enemy.

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