The Dying of the Light

  How do you define having personal boundaries? What is a boundary? Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Boundaries are essentially your rules of engagement in your relationships. They are the bottom line treatment that you expect the other person to adhere to and they have what you’re prepared to do should they violate those boundaries. If something is your bottom line you may give one warning if that boundary is violated but, you are prepared that should that boundary be violated again you are done with the relationship and no amount of apologies will get you to change your mind. They are literally the outline for the way you are to be treated so you don’t want your boundaries to be so weak that you hate the way you are being treated, yet you stay in the relationship. If the person makes you feel like crap, you are confident and you are going to stick up for yourself by removing that person out of your life unconditionally. Boundaries are not deceptive and if they are then either y...

  Can empaths get together and destroy a narcissist?  The malignant empaths love to hunt narcissists Eric Ward | Unsplash The Malignant Empath is one of the most feared disorders that people can have. It comes fully equipped with total self-denial of one's intentions and total self-denial as to one's own true nature. The Malignant Empath believes that because they are a highly sensitive person that those overwhelming emotions are symptoms of empathy - but the reality is they are symptoms of trauma within themselves. Their over pouring of emotions onto people happen frequently, and they don’t recognize how inappropriate such strong emotions are - they believe that it’s healthy, and it’s a side effect of having so much empathy. They don’t realize how uncomfortable their outpouring of emotion over the slightest thing mirrors histrionic personality disorder or that they are gravely inconsistent with their show of empathy from one person to the next, all depending on whom that othe...

 Laws Against Narcissism Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash Judiciary Law This is a tough issue to grapple with as a whole but there is a very specific reason as to why there can’t be laws against narcissistic abuse and by connection conviction for insidious narcissistic abuse. Okay, first — why this can’t be done. There are laws in place already which cover narcissistic abuse. They are called laws. They apply to narcissists and regular people, and they are to be applied without bias and to the appropriate extent as interpreted by a judge often by past precedent. The crux of this problem is simplified like this: A regular person is found guilty of manslaughter and goes to jail for 5 years A narcissist is found guilty of manslaughter and goes to jail for what? 8 years? Why would narcissistic manslaughter be worth more than regular manslaughter? What’s the difference that would necessitate a longer sentence? We have laws against attacking someone, we have laws against murder...

Narcissists Can Get Enmeshed in their Family of Origin Photo by  Nsey Benajah  on  Unsplash Often, you’ll hear of people talking about their narcissistic mate and how tied that person was to their family. There is some irony in the fact that they bend over backwards for the very people that made them narcissists. Their lives are significantly broken and they seem to have no loyalty to anyone except that family of origin. A decade ago I dated a woman who was professionally diagnosed with NPD. She was plagued by a shadow that she couldn’t come out from under which, affected every aspect of her life in very big ways. The shadow was the shadow of her father as she still feared his disapproval so much as an adult, she arranged her life around it. She grew up in a wealthy family where the parents displayed no real empathy, no real love, no real closeness — just high expectations, constant put downs, and an unattainable standard that she will never be able to achieve. The sad th...

 Narcissists and Codependents are two sides to the same coin Photo by  Eduardo Soares  on  Unsplash It’s because they are a biproduct of the same system. Both groups have a lost sense of self which puts them on the same coin. How they handled it was different which put them on different sides of the same coin. There are two basic types of narcissists. There is the one that is created from being spoiled rotten and having the world revolve around them and were rewarded for ‘winning’ but never truly was appreciated as an individual. They were rewarded for being what their caregivers wanted rather than for being themselves so they have a lost sense of self from pretending to be someone they were not their whole life in order to secure praise and adoration which they mistake as love. Then there is the vulnerable narcissist who may have had a similar over praise periodically but were much more neglected, abused, and rejected than the spoiled rotten kind. Humiliation was us...

 What are the weak spots on a malignant covert narcissist and how might they be exploited? Photo by  Erik Mclean  on  Unsplash What I'm about to stay here only applies to those people that are malignant narcissists that do not get violent. This is not applicable to anybody that has a history of violence or has the propensity to become violent. With a malignant narcissist, just like with the other narcissistic subtypes their issue and blind spots are all self-esteem related. All of their motives and actions are self-esteem related. Their weak spots are self-esteem related. If you want to harm them you have to target their self-esteem. You have to target embarrassment. You have to make them feel bad about themselves in a way that they can't deflect it. One thing that works well is public embarrassment by bringing up their failures or flaws openly. Their defenses will not work in this situation as they can't deflect other people's opinion of them. Their weak spot is in ...