Why does the narc always win? They destroy you and then immediately replace you with someone else who loves them and gives them everything.
Why does the narc always win? They destroy you and then immediately replace you with someone else who loves them and gives them everything. Why don't they get hurt?
Game Theory would indicate that the narcissist has the winning strategy. Their natural tendency to think of themselves first puts them in a position to mathematically always be in a better spot than anyone that thinks in terms of group benefits.
In game theory, there is one theory called the Prisoner’s Dilemma which is a concept that describes how people with competing incentives will not choose the best option.
Two prisoners can each choose to confess or not to a crime, and their decision will determine the length of their sentences.
The best outcome for both is for both of them to stay silent but the possibility that the other will confess leads them to incriminate themselves.
The final result of the math behind the equation reveals this:
Narcissists are naturally set up to win. The equations when worked out, proved that the person who looked out for themselves and betrayed their friend mathematically had a better certainty of a favorable outcome. So the math shows that given enough situations over a long enough period of time, then you’re better off to betray someone then to stay loyal.
Narcissists personality features naturally have them putting themselves first and other people second so if you put in the same model the one that betrays the other person while looking out for their own self-interests, then there is a mathematically certainty that, given enough time the narcissist will always end up in the better position than the one looking out for both peoples interests.
A survey was done to confirm the theory and respondents confirmed that indeed that in 54–60% of the cases betrayal was your best bet because you couldn’t trust that the other person had your interests at heart.
Here is why
In game theory they posit the question of two thieves a man and a woman get caught with stolen goods and are suspected of having done a bigger job but the cops have weak evidence. They talk to each of them and offer that if they defect and betray their partner then they will go free and their partner will do 3 years. They also say that if they both defect and betray each other then they both will do 2 years. If the two of them cooperate together and keep their mouths shut then they will get 2 years for the crime that they were caught for but they get to stay friends having not betrayed on another. If they both betray each other then they both get the maximum of 2 years for a total of 4 years.
They both should cooperate in the scenario because it results in a sentence of 2 years and retained friendship
From the individual’s perspective is where we run into problems.
If the girl betrays and he cooperates then she does 0 years
If they both cooperate and they don’t give each other up, then she does 1 year as will he.
What she will be looking at though is how much trust does she have in her partner? If she cooperates and he defects then she is looking at 3 years. If they both defect then they both do 2 years for a total of 4 years.
From a group perspective it makes sense to stay loyal because the total amount of years that would be done is one each for a total of two and they keep their friendship.
From an individuals perspective they both would notice that they would do less time if they betrayed the other. They go from 1 year to potentially zero years by defecting and 3 years to 2 years if both of them defect. So it makes more sense to think individually and defect in all cases.
So, if they defect and if they cooperate comes out to two years in prison and if she betrays him but he cooperates she stands a chance of being free. Because they are looking at 0 years or 2 years for a sentence under defecting but they are looking at 1 year or 3 years if they remain loyal.
So from an individuals perspective it makes sense to betray your partner because you have a shot at getting free and other than retaining that friendship afterwards there is no benefit to cooperating.
Conclusion: You are mathematically better off to look after your own interests and betray your partner if you are looking to come out on top. Narcissists do this by nature so they will always be the winners given enough transactions over enough time.
References: